totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
