these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
