youre lurking in front of me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
