This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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