He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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