i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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