Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
