We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
