the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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