Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
