I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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