I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
