Are we in a gay sports bar?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
