what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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