Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
