The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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