i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
