I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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