He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
