there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize