and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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