I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
