He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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