His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
