Don't you send me to vm
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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