Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
