You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
