Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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