hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize