dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
