Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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