i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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