I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
