her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
