thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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