You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
