whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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