what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
