Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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