I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
