Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
