I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize