My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
