It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
