next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize