Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
