I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
