Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
