I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
