Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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