Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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