Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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