Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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