The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
