Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
