I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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