Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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