Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
