I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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