Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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