im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
